It’s Tuesday evening (it’s actually officially Wednesday since it’s past midnight) and it was my Dad’s birthday this evening so I’ve naturally had 3/4 of a bottle of wine.
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life and what my goals are, which really just stresses me out. There’s a lot of options, which I realise is a great thing, but I still want something that I know I’m going to wake up each morning to and love to go to.
In school, I kind of always knew what I wanted to do, so I was lucky in that respect. French had always interested me and as I got into business classes in my 3rd year of high school, l really started to enjoy them. I applied to university with full confidence that I was going in to the right courses and my year abroad last year only consolidated that.
People always talk about high schoolers being forced in to making decisions about what classes they want to take and what they want to do at university, which yes, is stressful.
BUT why does no one talk about the people about to leave university, who are expected to just go out in to the big bad world and FIND THEIR WAY. First of all, we have to find a job, which is difficult in itself, but we also have to find a job that we like.
That’s surely got to be one of the hardest things ever. We leave university with all these options, how do we choose? If we choose the wrong thing, what happens? How do we know what path will make us happiest? All of these unanswered questions that will literally (in the voice of Chris Traeger) affect my whole life, and my happiness, and all the decisions I make EVER.
Anyway, I’ve been looking at masters, PHD’s, graduate programmes… You name it, I’ve looked up my options for it. Randomly this evening, whilst watching Pixels (which is pretty awful by the way) I thought about the masters in Denmark that I’ve kind of decided I want to do. I’ve looked at the whole application process, and it looks tough, but at this point I’d do anything to spend a year in the beautiful city of Copenhagen. Yet, I’ve had some concerns over whether it will really put me in the position that I want to be in the future and whether it will bring me happiness (again, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!)
Anyway, I decided to start to search, and it seems I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what to do with their life…
Apparently I should question what I should do today more than what I should do with my life.
Anyway, here were the life changing hits from Google…
I was intrigued by the first hit, so I clicked on it and this popped up…
Obviously I’m going to click ‘tell me’, I’m at a desperate point as it is… And here it is, the life changing secret that I’ve been waiting for…
“Spend a year being an English Teacher abroad”
I burst out laughing and almost cried at the same time.
For those of you who don’t know, I taught English abroad last year in France, and that’s the whole reason I even started this blog.
How ironic is it that that comes up as the first option out of who knows how many different options? I’ve always wanted to teach since I can remember, and I used to force my little sister to take part in my made up lessons as soon as she was old enough to. Yet, when I taught last year, I just knew it wasn’t for me, and I gave up on the teaching dream.
I highly doubt I should reconsider the teaching dream (Jenny if you’re a teacher in the future, I don’t like you for giving up on other dreams) and I now know to never trust this website, or any other.
And that’s why you don’t trust the internet kids… (if we didn’t already have enough reasons)
Maybe when I read this back in five years, I’ll be super happy in my job and love waking up to what I do, or I’ll be super unhappy and want to move away from everything but realise I can’t because I have quadruplets and a husband I hate. Either way, at least I’ll look back at this and laugh at my naïve hopefulness for the future.
I’ll leave you on that cheerful note 🙂
So, I hope you’ve enjoyed this post and if you’d like to read any of the other posts in this A-Z blogging series, here’s all the links:
L: Leaving Aix