This is the first blog post on this site that’s being written and posted from my new city, Bordeaux (ahhhh!). I’ve been here for a few days now and I can’t wait to share the wonders and beauty of this city with you all.
Before I left, everyone from home kind of shrugged off the idea of me moving back to France, understandably. I’ve moved to France before, I can speak French, and they’re all probably sick of hearing about what I did and where I went on my year in France.
But since I came to France, every single person I’ve encountered has told me that what I’m doing is ‘courageous’ (or courageuse). The first few times I had a little think about it and agreed but shrugged it off. But now that it’s happened several times since I’ve arrived in Bordeaux, I feel like I need to give myself a little more credit for what I’m doing.
As soon as I left my friends today, who are going back to Aix, I instantly wanted to cry. I tried so hard not to cry on the tram and when I arrived at my Airbnb. Instead of crying, I got up, walked forty minutes around the town area and grabbed my dinner. Now that I’m back in my Airbnb three hours later, I still want to cry. But not as much.
I’m pretty damn strong and, hell yeah, courageous to be doing this. I need to give myself more credit for the decision that I’ve actually carried out. A lot of my wild decisions in the past never actually came to life, and despite that I didn’t sleep when I initially booked my flights, I’m here and I’m doing it.
I’m not going to pretend I haven’t thought about going back to the comfort of Aix-en-Provence to find a job, or even back to Scotland entirely but I gave myself a pep talk and I’m over it.
Why should I be comfortable? When I’m in my comfort zone, I’m not improving and I’m not learning anything new. I’m not meeting new people and I’m not exploring new cultures. I need this experience to push myself and to gain these new skills that I know I truly want. Instead of doing the norm and working in a crap summer job, and using zero skills, I can work in a job to improve my French whilst enjoying the French life!
The next few days are going to be hardddd but I remember feeling ten times worse than this when I first originally arrived in France for my year abroad, and two months later I’d met some of the most influential people and had some of the best experiences.
So I might want to cry, and grab a train back to Scotland, I’m going to suck it up, face fears, explore, work hard, speak French, drink wine, enjoy Bordeaux and have an awesome summer.
Over and out, from Bordeaux.
À très bientôt!